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Matured Stories

Too Late To Cry – Season 1 – Episode 6

Life after this incident became routine. I mostly stayed in my room when I return from school. There was an air of prevailing darkness over my home, soon it emptied of all pest. Even grandma left after a while. She couldn’t bear it, there was no one to order around. After the court awarded mom custody of Bobola, I saw even less of my father. I didn’t care.
Dad stayed out late, in fact we rarely saw. My basic needs were met by the maids who peddled rumors that I had an evil spirit. I played and laughed with my dolls a lot. I spent money buying dolls, I had different gothic dolls in my room.
Every single day I received letters from Bobola and a birthday card on my birthdays. The maids were afraid of entering my room so they dumped them at the entrance. I took them in and never opened them. I had a bagful of his letters.
Mom called several times but not once did I pick her calls. She didn’t relent, she called at least twice every week. As far as I was concerned, I was an orphan. My parents died a long time ago.
When it was time for me to write jamb, I picked a university very far from home. I needed the break and the distance. Daddy provided the money. He had learned to respect my decisions or maybe he needed the break too. Bobo must have somehow collected my number from dad, dad told me Bobo said he was coming to visit and I told him no. I told my father to tell him not to come.
He travelled the twelve hours journey to visit me.
I was in my hostel when I heard the announcement someone was looking for me at the porters lodge. I was a loner. I had no friend, in fact a lot of my classmates were afraid of coming close. I heard their whispers and the gossip making its round about me.
Curiosity took me to the porters lodge that afternoon. Who could be looking for me?
I went there and stopped short when I saw him. His baby face was still there. He was tall and lanky, and very handsome too. He looked like me a lot. He wore a sad smile and had tears in his eyes.
‘My sister!’
I felt the walls around my heart breaking but I had come too far. I was hurting too much. I was strong, I was hardened and I wasn’t about to be vulnerable again. I wasn’t going to allow love hurt me and I couldn’t allow him see me weak- the girl.
‘I told you not to come here.’ I said to him coldly and I saw him wince. A muscle twitched in his cheek. A crowed was gathering around us. I was that girl who nobody ever visits. Who was the tall handsome dude, I could see the questions in their eyes.
‘Won’t you at least welcome me sister? It’s been a long tiring journey. I have always loved you, always. I have longed for your friendship. I have been empty, like a part of me was out. I need you sister mi. I don’t know how I remember some of these things, but you used to whisper to me things and places you wanted us to visit. You told me I will be your best friend.’
I could feel tears in my eyes. How was it possible for a baby inside the womb to remember such things? I blinked back my tears and turned my back on him.
‘I don’t have a brother. I am an orphan. Please leave this place and stop embarrassing yourself.’
‘Mother died sister. She wants you to forgive her. And while you are at it, can you forgive me for being born?’
I swallowed the phlegm which had suddenly clogged my throat. I felt warmth creep into the coldness of my heart and then spread evenly over every crevice in my body. I was suddenly that little girl who desperately needed a brother. I remembered with clarity that contact, that first bond the first time I felt him move.
I wanted to look back and open my arms wide. But I remembered all I had gone through because of him. The loss of my home, my parents and my purpose. I stilled my eyes from shedding more tears and walked away with his pained voice calling to me.
‘Sister mi please don’t shut me out…’ I heard his pained voice whisper as I walked away.
For days I was locked up in my room crying. I realized that the poor boy was never the enemy. He was as innocent as a baby. I allowed people to poison my heart,
I permitted peoples opinion to define me. I am a girl yes, so what? Should have been my response to their evil seed but I allowed it grow. Years upon years, I watered it. It bore fruits of envy and hatred, I lived in pain.
After my mother left I never allowed anyone come close enough to love me. I was afraid of my inadequacies as a girl. I had made a mess of my supposed to be, beautiful life. I was bitter and allowed the fangs of hatred dig deep into me.
I tried his number several times but it didn’t go through. My mother was dead and my father was seriously ill. I had remained in school despite the vacation because I didn’t want to see him. It was time to go home.
On the third day, as I was packing my bag, my phone rang.
‘Hello daddy.’
‘Please come home Eyinju. He pleaded. I could hear anguish in his voice. ‘I cannot bear this alone’
‘Bear what dad?’
‘Bobola was involved in an accident. I know you don’t care. Now that he is gone, I hope you will be able to come home now.’
The phone clattered to the floor. I was shaking terribly. The pain, the pain was consumed me.

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