I was seated in the corridor afraid that any movement I made would cause the two to hear me, she was now done crying and the sniffing was all I could hear.
‘I am not a bad person you know.’ She said with a smile
‘I know you are not, behind this whole attitude is a girl I would love to meet.’ Nthando told her
She laughed, it was pure.
‘So what is your story? Why are you like this?’ he asked
She sighed, probably calculating if it was wise to tell him. From where I was seated I was anxious to hear it from her, I really wanted to know why she was still this angry even though a part of me already had an idea.
‘Well.’ She began but paused
‘You know you don’t have to tell me.’ He said with a smile
Nthando was a very good looking man, Kelvin was handsome yes but there was just something about Nthando that drew me to him.
‘My sister is dying.’ She began
He didn’t look moved.
‘Well with the show you and your father put up last time, which person around Lusaka doesn’t know?’ he asked with a smile
She smiled back at him
‘But I don’t think that is the reason you are like this, right?’
‘Well I guess it all began some years back, you see growing up I had this urge to always want to protect Xenia. She was born twenty minutes after me and the doctors thought she was still born but she wasn’t. Her heart wasn’t just functioning like any normal baby and she had to go into surgery immediately. It was successful but she was too fragile and so she had to be kept in hospital for a long time.’
‘Until she was seven months old.’
‘Wow.’ He responded
‘And all this while, where were you?’
‘Mum says I was in hospital with her, my mother doesn’t have much family and friends; we are the only family she has.’ ‘Go on.’
‘As we grew, so did our friendship. We were more than just sisters, we were each other’s best friend. I inhaled the air she exhaled and vice versa, ours was a pure and genuine love not until I began to feel that mum actually preferred her to me.’ ‘How so?’
‘Xenia started to get sick again when we turned six, she couldn’t go to school like any other child so she had to be home schooled. Mum put her life to a stop just so Xenia could grow up like a normal child. This continued for as long as I could remember, at first I would voice it out. Talk to her and mum sometimes but the only response I got was that she was my little sister and she had to be taken care of.’
‘Who used to tell you that?’ he asked her
‘Mum.’ She responded with a chuckle
‘And Xenia, did she take advantage of all this?”
‘Not really, Xenia is not capable of hurting anyone. More reason I was upset with her, I wanted to have a reason to hate her but she is such a delicate flower and nothing seems to be wrong with her. As we grew I grew bitter as well, I was angered, deranged, out of control. I reached a point where I couldn’t recognize myself anymore and my breaking point birthed that I am today, birthed this person I am not even willing to change.’ She said her eyes blood shot
‘Don’t you think your mother has the right to know? Maybe then she can try to make up for all those years that she didn’t treat you right?’ Xeno shock her head.
‘I don’t even want her love anymore, I got so used to being left alone that I love it this way.’
‘No one should be subjected to this kind of life Xeno, you deserve better than this.’ He said touching her chin
‘Maybe if you lived a day in my shoes you would know better.’ She said now on her feet
‘I will be back.’ She said walking out
I felt my heart crush into a million tiny pieces, I didn’t know where I was wrong and much less how I could bring back all the lost years. Even if I knew, how do you help someone that has made it clear that they don’t want to be helped?
‘You shouldn’t give up on her.’ I heard Nthando say I felt nervous as he was alone in the living room.
‘I am talking to you Xenia, I know you have been there all this while.’
I was about to respond but I heard the door open, she was probably back. ‘I am sorry for being like this, I don’t allow anyone to see this side of me.’ ‘Come on, we all need a shoulder to cry on sometimes.’ He said getting up She smiled at him
‘I am not keeping it.’
He looked at her
‘Why the change of heart?’
‘I guess I just thought keeping the baby would make me keep you.’ He raised an eye brow.
‘But in this day and age, a baby is no guarantee that a man will stay with you.’ She said sadly looking at her toes
‘Hey, look at me.’
She did as told
‘You are a very beautiful woman. You don’t need to doubt that one bit, a man will find you that will love you with everything in him. He will look past your flaws and change the way you look at life. He will love you raw and intense, he will go an extra mile for you. Change everything you ever believed in, break your walls and rebuild them stone by stone; laying a foundation so strong that no wind will put down. Show you a world that you only dream of. He won’t be afraid to be your king and priest, he will treat like the queen that you are. You are a very beautiful lady inside out. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.’ He said, his words touching every part of me even though he was talking to my sister She smiled like a child and kissed his cheek
‘Let me drink some water.’ She said and rushed to the kitchen
‘I meant every word I said, you are a very beautiful woman. Don’t be afraid to show the world that you truly are Xenia.’ He said looking in my direction
I rushed back to my room and closed the door behind me dumbstruck, was Nthando talking to me all this while? How could he be this careless? My sister liked him and yet here he was telling me all this and why was a feeling this way when Kelvin was the one I wanted to be with and yet Nthando’s words made me feel more than everything put together that Kelvin had ever spoken to and about me?
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