Kassim had really gone too deep into the ocean of atrocity. For three days
we were on spiritual admission in the church. Toyin began to prepare my
mind. Nneka, if God forgives him, you must also
forgive him. You know we were all once sinners but God forgave us all. You
will forgive him so God can
forgive you and give you a new life. It was when she said this I remembered
I had not confessed my
abortion to anybody. The fear of what befell Kassim gripped me. Baba I have
a confession to make too?
He tried to excuse those standing by but I told him I don’t mind. I
confessed everything evil I have ever
done including my affair with Prophet Ade. I became very light after my
confession. It was like a big rock
was excavated out of my heart. I really wished the trumpet could just sound
at that moment. I was so sure of my eternity with Christ.
I reconciled with Kassim but we went through a two week counseling session
before I could accept
Kassim back again as my husband. Not too long, Kassim’s father died of
stroke. His mum followed suit
three months later. We left our former church and we started attending Seed
of Faith Church, Baba’s
church. Kassim didn’t recover fully but he could move about. He lost his
job because of his long absence
at work. The whole family load and Kassim’s medical expenses were on me. We
didn’t resume conjugal
activities until after four months due to Kassim’s health and left over
fear in me.
We found joy in Christ again. This time, it was a genuine encounter with
the most high. In Seed of Faith
Church, no one is allowed to be a bench warmer. You must be in one
department or unit in church.
While I joined the choir, Kassim joined the prayer team. We began to pick
up gradually both spiritually
and financially. The fear of what Kassim said during his confession
resurfaced to torment me. That he
will die childless. I couldn’t even pray to God for a child because I felt
he has done enough for us. But I
need a child of my own before I approach menopause. Is child bearing part
of our forgiveness package?
Will God extend his Mercy to this aspect of my life? I wished he could just
answer all these questions.
Not minding Kassim’s health, I began to take advantage of every moment to
meet with him. Not for
pleasure but for chances of getting pregnant. We tried for several months
with the help of fertility drugs
but all to no avail. One year was gone no pregnancy. I erased the thought
of conception from my mind
and focused on serving God and building my career. At the time I had
completely let go trying, I missed
my period for the first time after about twelve years. I became pregnant
for the man the devil said will
die childless. Satan does not have the final verdict over anyone’s life.
God of Abraham and Sarah showed
up in our lives and our joy knew no bounds.