It’s been two weeks since I last saw Dave.
Two weeks since my heart broke into irreplaceable pieces.
Two weeks of crying myself to sleep.
I still can believe he did that.
And Clara….that bitch!
Even if he had made those advances towards her.
She didn’t tell me about it.
I even told her my suspicion about him.
She didn’t tell me she was the one but instead gave me a dumbass advice.
I still can’t believe Dave seduced Clara.
What happened to me?
Wasn’t I beautiful enough?
He always told me before that he found no other woman attractive except me.
He’s a liar…a big liar and a cheat.
He never really loved me.
And I hate him for that.
His mother wouldn’t stop calling me to go and see him.
I don’t ever want to see him.
And now, because of the close friendship my mother and Dave’s mother has.
She is also pestering me to see him.
Maybe I should.
Maybe I should really hear his excuses and finalize a day to file for a divorce.
It was a cold evening,the rains had just stopped falling, when I got to our house…. scratch that…his house.
I’m never going to get back with him.
I found him sitting on the floor in the living room with different bottles of alcoholic drinks.
I’m highly dusgusted by this.
Finally,he notices my presence.
He looked behind him and stared at me in disbelief.
“Abby?”He called unsure if it was really me he was seeing.
He struggles up to the feet and moves closer to me.
His scent that I used to love is gone,all I can smell is alcohol.
His face lit up.”Abby,you came to see me?”He asked, smiling and tries to hug me but I back far away from him.
He doesn’t look like the Dave I married….just a disgusting alcoholist.
When I look back at his face,I instantly regret not letting him hug me.
He just stood there, staring at me with tears filled eyes looking so crestfallen.
The moment my alcohol filled brain senses someone in my house,I turned around,I think I’m hallucinating,Was this really Abby?
I’m so happy to see her.She looked so beautiful and I wanted to touch her badly….Oh God! I need this woman.
But when I try to hug her and she backs off.
Instantly,I feel like that home work boy.
That home work boy who isn’t good enough for her.
That homework boy who’s out of her league.
That homework boy who couldn’t give her everything she wanted.
“Handling?You call this handling?When last did you go to the office,Dave? You’re broken….she broke you again.
I will tell you what I told you before.She doesn’t love you.
I’m pretty sure you were forced to cheat and once your wife got to know….bingo! She’s out of your life immediately as if she had been waiting for the right time to leave”
Martin’s words ran through my head and I realized that he is fucking right.
Now, I’m angry that I love her this much.
“What are you doing here?”I asked, coldly.
“Your mom wanted me to see….”
“Now that you’ve seen me, you can leave”
I can see that she’s taken aback by my harsh words but right now,I want her to leave. I know I’ll regret pushing her away like this but it’s for the best.She doesn’t want me and I’m tired of this love which is causing me nothing but pain.
“Why are you making it seem as if I was the one who ruined everything?”
“Alright, I’m the one who ruined everything…now leave”
“I’m willing to listen to your explanation….”
“When I wanted to explain,you didn’t want to listen,now I don’t have the energy for that,so leave”
“Why can’t you just go?It wasn’t hard for you to leave that day, right?”
“You fucking hurt me….”
“And you think I wanted to hurt you….she was tormenting me,she was devouring me….my nights and days…..I needed help….I needed someone to talk to. I needed you,Abby but you weren’t there for me,I couldn’t count on you.You were so distant,we lost communication and every little thing I did made you angry.Even if you don’t believe me,it happened just once,and before it happened,I reached out to you but still,you shut me out and then,you left….and then you said being with me was a mistake…. I wasted the years you spent with me…the years you should’ve spent with someone better than me… homework boy is still not good enough for you, right?”
“Don’t make this about yourself,Dave and why the hell are you bringing up the past?”
“That’s the point, I’m always quick to forgive you, I’m always quick to see beyond your flaws, because all I ever wanted was to be with you… because being with you made me more happy that I ever thought possible but now I realize that this might be my ruin.You’re right,this is a mistake, maybe we just aren’t meant to be and I’m sick and tired of this shit.You don’t love me.”
“Leave”I said to her.
“Just leave!”I thundered.
She startled and slowly,she left.
I slowly sat on the sofa.
This is for the best.I pick up a bottle and recalled the way she backed away from me then I dropped the bottle.
I’m not a loser.
I prefer to let her go than be a prisoner for love.
I can cope with this emptiness.
I believe I can.
A week rolled by since I got that harsh treatment from Dave.Now I’m feeling disturbed,what if he didn’t seduce Clara?
And all of a sudden,Clara called,she wanted to meet up.
I want to meet up with her.
I need to know the truth about everything.
And I’m going to stay cool and not cause a scene.
Almost an hour later, we’re sitting opposite each other in a restaurant.
She looks miserable.
We just sit there quietly for a while,I think both of us is confused on how to start the conversation.
“Tell me the truth.What really happened between you and Dave”
She bit her bottom lip for a while then she spoke.
“When I started living with you guys,I saw how caring Dave was and how much he loves you,At first,I admired how lucky you were but then I started wanting to be in your shoes. I wanted a man like Dave.And he was really nice to me too.Though he saw no meaning in being nice to his wife’s best friend but I saw it differently,I thought he might want me instead of you so I was determined to replace you”
My breath stuck in my throat….
She continued.”I started making moves on him when we were alone but he barely noticed it.So that day,when you told me about your misgivings about him.I added fuel to your thoughts.I knew deep down that Dave wasn’t cheating but I thought if you make him starved of sex,he would run to me”
Tears stung my eyes,I can’t believe how foolish I was.
“I’m sorry to tell you this,Abby but I really tempted him, I was even surprised at how hard he was taking his stand not to have an affair with him.I shamelessly sent him videos and pictures of myself clad and unclad, I know he badly wanted sex but he kept refusing to have sex with me and I think since you strongly rejected him,he’d probably resulted to wanking.
Dave and I didn’t have sex in that video and pictures I sent to you.That night,I heard you two arguing and I thought you rejected him again,he had left the house angrily and I followed him,I watched him get drunk and wasted then I took him to a hotel,he was unconscious,Abby.He didn’t know when I stroked his dick. I did that because I thought I needed to blackmail him to finally have sex with me but when he woke up and I showed him what I had done,he still refused to have sex with me,he claimed that he was going to tell you the truth and you would help him out but he came back to me later that day,and I guessed you didn’t give him a listening ear, I’m so sorry,Abby.I was too obsessed with him”
My heart is constricting painfully in my chest.I’m unable to tame my tears and she’s crying too.
“Wh….why did you send me that video and pictures since you finally got him to do what you wanted?”I asked, hoarsely.
“I was angry because he didn’t want to have sex with me again,I was angry because he loves you too much”
“Why now?Why are you telling me the truth now?”
“Because I can’t have a good night sleep any more…. because when I sleep,I see you and Dave,I see how happy you two were before I ruin it.
When I fall asleep,I see a marriage that I’ve destroyed.
If I knew I was going to feel this kind of guilt,I would’ve listened to Dave when he told me that what I thought I felt for him wasn’t love.
I realized now that it isn’t love at all.
I was driven and consumed by jealousy to have what you had”
“How could you, Clara?”I cried.”I treated you like my sister,you made me so naive…so ignorant to see that my husband was struggling with himself…to see that I was hurting him”
“I’m so sorry,Abby.I know sorry can never change the story but I wish it can.. I’m so sorry”
I want to hit her,I want to pull her hair but that’s not going to change anything.
I broke my husband.
Now, it’s too late to do anything…..to change anything.