So in the last episode I said I saw my parent’s car coming when I was going to meet Mrs. Williams and you people believed it abi? If really that happened that day would have been my last day on earth, it would have been the death of me, my Dad after seeing how I turned his house to a club house will just tie me to his car and drag me round the city of Lagos, he would drag me all round Lagos and drag anybody that tries to stop him, he might even do worse sef. Let me just tell you people now, I didn’t see them when I was going to meet Mrs. Williams, I just wanted to end that episode with a silly suspense and I hope you guys enjoyed the suspense, please don’t shoot me for doing that, I won’t do it again.
As I was going to meet Mrs. Williams with a clouded mind, trying to imagine what we would talk about when I see her, I didn’t even know what to think. When you are in some situations, some critical situations, situations like this one that I am in right now, only one thing can work, what do you think can help my situation?
Don’t suggest “Prayer”, yeah I know prayer is the master key, but there are some situations where prayers won’t work. What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? Okay, I just preached but really, think about it. What would my prayer point be? Would I pray to God to help me get down safely with Mrs. Williams and Lola?
Sometimes ehn I hear some peoples prayer point and I shake my head, you cannot want to sin and then be asking God to help you with it (this is a quick one for some peeps out here; I hope you really get what I am trying to say here).
So what is the one thing that could help my situation? As I was going to meet Mrs. Williams with a clouded mind and thinking was difficult for me, I just decided to consult my music playlist and reason with it, I love doing that a lot. Finding the right song to play at that moment was difficult, I scrolled from A-Z couldn’t find a song to help, I decided to go through my playlist again, finally I got a song by J. Cole “Apparently” that is the title of the song.
You know the song? The song doesn’t really fit the situation but it helped me think about many things, it is funny how deep thoughts can go when you are listening to song; it is funny how wild imaginations can run when you are listening to some songs. You don’t want to know how much I thought about before getting to Mrs. Williams place, abi you people think it is a joking sturv? You know at this point I am standing on the edge of an abyss. Have you tried to think about how this might end? Have you tried to think about how this story might end? Try and think about it now.
Getting to the hotel where Mrs. Williams and I slept, I saw Adeola at the reception again, I asked her if My Aunty was still upstairs, she said yes, “Adeola I need to see you o, I want us to talk about something” What is it we need to talk about? You remember I told you I just started setting Adeola’s P, that is why I wanted to see her again because I have to finish what I started, forget the situation I am in right now, I just have to finish what I have started with Adeola, I wouldn’t start a journey and stop before getting to my destination.
Adeola told me she would be leaving work soon, I told her I was only going to see my Aunty for few minutes that she should chill for me so that we could walk together..
I said that to Adeola thinking I would just see Mrs. Williams for few minutes and talk about whatever it is she wants to talk to me about then we would leave but as I entered Mrs. Williams room I knew I was going in there for some real conversation, you know when someone tells you they need to talk to you and when you go to see them you see them seated in that kind of posture that suggests that it is going to be a long and a serious talk.
She responded immediately she heard the knock. I entered the room then saw that Mrs. Williams was seated on the bed in the manner that implies that we were going to be talking about something serious and that the conversation was going to last for a while.
“How are you doing today Mrs. Williams?” I asked, maybe that is where our discussion will start from. She looked at me, by this time I was already seated on the couch beside the bed and she said she was doing fine.
“I am fine, Thank you” she said and she paused, I knew she still wanted to say some more but as she paused she put her head down like she was admiring her expensive shoes, I knew she was trying to avoid my gaze, I knew she was trying not to look my way. She wouldn’t look up again, she was acting like she had a lot to say but she was too wary to say them, I kept on looking at her, trying to know what was going on in the room, trying to figure out what she might want to talk about.
A lot happened in the previous night, she was drunk, she talked about her marital issues, she cried, we kissed, and all that, maybe she is too embarrassed to talk about it all now, but how do I get her to talk?
Maybe it was because I was gazing at her, maybe that was why she couldn’t talk so I decided to look away, maybe she would be able to talk if I am not looking at her, I thought to myself. The room was quiet for a while, I was looking away and I guess she still had her head down so I looked at her direction since she wasn’t saying anything and I saw that she was looking at me, she was looking at me like she was studying me, she was staring at me like dull students stare at a Physics teacher, immediately I caught her staring at me she looked away. I began to feel like tolotolo afterwards, didn’t know where to look, you know that feeling when you know someone is staring at you and you can’t stare back? That kind of situation puts your neck in a mess as you wouldn’t know where to turn your neck to, I was just looking everywhere else in the room, couldn’t look at her side anymore and I couldn’t say something either.
Someone needs to say something, all these shy shy things won’t help, but what can I say? Let me just continue looking at the floor maybe what to say might spring out from the floor, anything is possible yeah? hehe
“So last night, I drank a little too much and I…” She paused again and looked at me; she probably wanted to see if I was looking at her now or to check the look on my face. Then, I was looking at her with interest, antedating where she was going with her dialogue, the look she met on my face must have given her go ahead as she continued talking…
“…and I can’t remember everything that happened last night, but I can remember few things” Oh interesting, she can’t remember everything that happened last night? I hope she remembers the kiss, is it time for me to say something or I should ask if she remembers the kiss. No, let me still keep quiet, she continued talking.
“I am sorry for all that might have happened that wasn’t my intention; I was only hurting too much, I didn’t mean to behave irrational”. I felt like it was time for me to say something, as I was about to say something, I interrupted what she wanted to say too, you know that kind of thing yeah? We both wanted to talk at the same time, I decided to stop and allow her talk, and she decided to stop too and allow me talk, so I said “sorry I interrupted”
I said that when she tried to say something too, it was awkward at that point, she said it is fine that I could continue to say what I wanted to say. What did I want to say sef? Continue reading…
“You don’t need to be sorry for all that happened last night Mrs. Williams, I understand that you are hurting too much; I know how it can get. I have experienced such before” I said to her. She looked at me and she was a little bit confused, what do I mean I have experienced such before? But really what do I mean by that? I don’t even know what I meant sef or where the speech was heading, I was just talking. Some of us do that too, sometimes we would have said something before knowing we shouldn’t have.
She decided to ask what I meant by what I have said earlier. “When I was growing up…”
I cleared my throat, re-adjusted my sitting position, I am sure she knows it was time for a long story, a true life story of how I grew up.
“When I was growing up things were tough for me and my younger brother because we had domestic problems, My Dad used to come home drunk and misbehave, sometimes he would beat my Mom up, he had all sorts of bad behaviour, he was a womanizer then but I thank God for his life now, he is a changed Man now and a great Dad.” I said that to not make the story all tragedy, because I was getting all sad and Sh*t but I have to finish the story, was I even telling her a true life story or I was just giving her another tale, let me just continue with the story I was telling her.
“I knew how much my Mom was hurting, I knew all the drama she went through, I knew about the battle because we were all she has and I was very close to her when I was growing up, she was my best friend, she is still my best friend.” I looked at her; she was looking at me like I was telling her one very sad story, even me the story teller sef was doing like someone that remembered one bad past experience.
When she heard my Mom was my best friend and she is still my best friend, she said “Wish I could be closer to my son too, but he had little time with me while he was growing up, I was always away about work, the relationship between us is not very smooth, I am just trying to work my way back to his life now, that is why I come to see him more often in school now and do all he wants for him”.
I didn’t know what to say about what she said, so I was just looking, waiting for her to continue, I was quiet for a moment so she continued talking, “I know you probably think different of me now because of all I am going through, because you have seen me cry or because we shared a kiss last night, yeah I remember we kissed last night, I am not a drunkard neither am I a cougar, it is just what I am going through, my plan was not that we would sleep in the same place but I guess it was bound to happen, I thought about a lot while you were away” what was she thinking while I was away? She kept talking, by this time, she didn’t care if I was looking at her or nah, and she just wanted to spill all on her mind. “I know about our age difference, I know you are probably same age with my son, but I love the way you make me feel when I am with you, the way you look at me, the things you say to me, the way you soothe me makes me want to be around you more, the songs you played for me before I slept off last night, it is just like another world for me when you are here with me, I remembered asking you if you have a girlfriend last night and you told me No, I know what I want from you wouldn’t be hard for you because I don’t want much”
What does she want from me? me I was sha there loving all she was saying, so I was just seated there feeling myself, “I will love to see you more often, I will love to hang out with you more, I will love to be closer to you, I am not asking you to be in a relationship with me, I am not asking you to be my gigolo, I just want you to be available for me, I just want you to be there for me, I just want to be the one I can run to” So this is what she wants from me, what do you think about that?
“You make me feel better, you kiss me better that is why I want more of you, I would be denying myself happiness if I hide these things, I hope you understand that I have not done this before and this is hard for me, but I just want to be happy again, I just want to give myself the chance to live again, I am just feeling this way because of all I am going through, I just want to stop hurting, this might be wrong but it definitely feels good and I am ready to loosen up”. You see what Mr. Williams has caused? Seen how much damage he’s caused? This is one thing some men, some guys, some boys don’t understand, the damage you cause when you hurt a woman that loves you so much is more than what I can write about, to you it might be a little thing but to her it is much obliteration.
“Can I ask you something?” She asked if she could ask me a question, I knew the question was going to be a tough one but I told her she could ask me, can you guess the question?
“How do you feel about me?” like I knew the question would be a tough one but I got to answer it. But what do I say? How do I feel about Mrs. Williams? Let me just tell her nothing but the truth. How do I tell her I feel about her, should I just tell her another story?