As soon as she mentioned s*x, my eyes widened!
I looked at her in utter shock! How could she have found out?!! By just smelling me?! It was unbelievable! When did s*x begin to smell on people?!
“I don’t know what you are talking about aunty…” I quickly resumed talking, in defense! I wasn’t going to allow this one to go over my head! “I have just told you I was looking for where to buy the screwdriver…”
“Where is that wallet I saw you putting the money for the screwdriver before leaving?” she spontaneously said, ignoring my supposed fables! I went dumb that instant! I couldn’t just believe my ears! Wallet?! How come she was asking for my wallet?! Could she have seen the condoms?! But when?! Now way she could have seen it!
“Wallet?….I….I…“, I was panting badly! My heart was repeatedly skipping!
“Bring out that wallet, now!!.…” she was on her feet again and walking towards me. I could see pure furry in her eyes!
I had to quickly oblige so I began bringing out the wallet, while still stammering! She didn’t even let me bring it out fully when she quickly snatched it off my hands! The next moment she was opening it and searching through…And then, it happened! Aunty Edna picked out the two sachets of condom inside my wallet – one used and the other still sealed! She gave me a very hot slap across my chin!
“Liar! Liar!! You were busy screwing a girl and told me you were looking for a screwdriver!” she swung her hand again to land me another slap but I docked it and she missed! She was as angry as the devil! I had never seen her that angry in my life! A lot worse than she was earlier that morning!
I was silent, occasionally flicking my eyes from one corner to another as she spoke. I wasn’t sure what was going to follow!
“You are going to tell me who the girl is! This instant!” her voice was very loud! She then began to inspect the used sachet. “Of course you just used this now! It is still very wet. Oh jesos! Daniel…”
I felt like dying that moment! I couldn’t just imagine mentioning Jumoke’s name to her! That would be the biggest mistake of my life!
“I am going to show your mum these!” was her next comment out of nowhere! As soon as I heard her mention mum, I was forced to look her way! I was soon contemplating begging her not to. Mum was surely going to break if she did see the condom.
“Please aunty…” I wanted to begin begging her
“Ehhh-ehhh-ehhh….don’t even aunty me Daniel! You disappoint me and you will tell me who you were Bleeping when I called you!” her use of the word F**K sounded so very normal that moment.
My mouth remained open as I watched her
“I am showing your mum this! I just have to! I even wonder why I am particularly surprised you are not still a virgin! There was no way you would own that heap of pornography and still remain a virgin…jesos…I am telling your mum everything! From the pornography, even though I have burnt all of them, to this condom…everything!…”
I felt like collapsing! I never knew my aunt could be this unforgiving!
“In fact get out of here and make sure you fix that bathroom door today – screwdriver or not! Moreover go and bathe!! You stink of [email protected]!! When you come out, you will explain to me, who you were Bleeping.” She began walking away from the living room just about then. Her butt0ckz swayed in the tight blue denim trouser she had changed into while I was away! I didn’t look at her butt0ckz for too long though, as I had more troubling things occupying my mind instead!
Her butt0ckz swayed in the tight….denim trouser she had changed into while I was away