TROUBLE JUST GOT PROMOTED
Pastor Mrs. went to open the door. They all came in.
Trouble just got promoted as I saw a very tough looking brother Accord with a timid looking sister Accord walked into the sitting room.
Did I say my husband turned white before…? He should be whiter than snow by now, because I guess if fear can be measured, my husband would be top of the chart.
Even my own crying had to stop at the sight of brother Accord.
Hmmm, brother Accord was a boxer before he retired. The legend goes that he had killed many opponents in the boxing ring before….
We also learnt that he had to be removed from boxing because of his temper issues…
One of the things he cherished most in his life is his wife.
She is one pretty lady. She is slim, fair with naturally long hairs. She was an ex model.
I heard he refused to get her pregnant because he didn’t want her to lose her s£xy features.
So, their two children were from surrogate mothers. As in, they planted their sperm and eggs into another woman to carry the babies for them.
This man drives himself but he got a driver to chauffeur his wife. She is always in the latest wears because he spends heavily on her wardrobe.
But today, she was wearing simple clothes, no chain or bangles. She was dragging a very beautiful suitcase with her. I guess she had been sent packing by brother Accord.
It’s so unfair that such a classy lady would also be a competitor for my husband….
Haha, is it not the same penis, that same lame thing between his legs? How does he get these ladies sef?
This time, the lame thing has looked for trouble beyond his capacity.
Trouble just got promoted to wahala…Mr. Accord the very powerful boxer with anger issues is “live” in my sitting room.
Here he is, in person, with a very angry face, charging into the house coming for my husband….
My husband can’t stand up because of the various bruises he sustained from last night’s beating….
Even if he can stand up, can he face the charging bull?
Seeing the charging Mr. Accord, the Assistant Pastor cleared away from his path, I guess he doesn’t want blood to spill over to him.
Bose ran behind the chair. Hmmmm, So she can be afraid too but she is not afraid to touch my husband..
I was rooted to where I was standing, I could not move, or scream, or beg.
Pastor Mrs. was surprised with mouth wide open.
I can already see a flash picture of my husband being beaten to pulp, like a lamb in the hands of a lion…
The next few seconds happened so fast, how do I explain this now?
Terminator II is coming for my randy husband…….
Just some few steps before he got to my husband, Pastor stood up and intercepted between my husband and the raging brother Accord.
Ahhh is this going to be the end of Pastor?
Pastor is like a broom stick before this hefty mountainous man.
Why did Pastor wish to die in the place of the real sinner, I hope he is not forming Jesus, savior of the world?
Brother Accord’s hands were coming up to Pastor’s neck.
I can’t look oooo.
It looks like we have used our own wahala to spoil Pastor’s life.
Pastor’s wife screamed; Pastor!!!!
OH THIS MY HUSBAND
NEW WIFE FOR MY HUSBAND
That scream brought everyone back to life as we all shouted various things at the same time.
I shouted…. Mogbe!!!!🙆🏻
Assistant Pastor shouted…. Jesus!!!!!
Sister Accord shouted…… Nooooo love!!!!!
My husband shouted……. Sorry!!!!!!
Pastor didn’t shout, rather I saw his lips moving in quiet prayers. He was blasting in tongues.
As if controlled by a remote, Brother Accord stopped abruptly before Pastor.
Pastor please let me teach that squawk a lesson; Brother Accord’s voice rolled like thunder…
His fist was clenched and his eyes was looking over Pastor’s head to my crouching husband.
I take over this situation in the name of JESUS. Back into tongues for few seconds….
Brother Accord, I know you respect the spirit of God in me, please sit here. Pastor said while leading Brother Accord to sit.
Like an obedient child, visibly angry and breathing heavily, the mountainous Brother Accord sat down.
And that is how Pastor saved us from blood shed that day.
Pastor stood amidst a very tensed gathering. Please my brothers and sisters, let’s take this issue one after the other. Pastor said.
Assistant Pastor was the first to speak,
Please Pastor, I have come for two reasons.
First to hand over all my duties in church to you. A man who cannot control his house is not worthy to head a church. I have written my resignation letter from church affairs and I will hand it over to the elders tomorrow.
Secondly, Bose says she is pregnant for Brother Momoh, I’m not here to quarrel or fight. Let brother Momoh take care of her till she gives birth. Then he should return her back to me as a single girl that she was before he tampered with her.
That’s all I have to say. Assistant Pastor said and sat down.
I looked from Pastor to my quiet husband to Pastor’s wife, no one is talking. Is this how they will all allow new wives to be posted into my house….
I raised my hand to speak out, to tell them it’s impossible but Pastor’s wife motioned to me to keep quiet.
Brother Accord stood up to talk. The ground vibrated at the sound of his voice. The emotions were very deep. This man is hurt beyond words.
Brother Accord said; naturally I don’t know how to settle quarrels by words. I prefer to settle with a fight.
It’s so painful that I met Pastor Emma here. He is a man that I respect so much amongst all the other men of God I have met in my life.
He is one who speaks the truth, acts the truth and never deviate from the truth.
In my utmost respect for this man I will not beat the hell out of that useless man today but I need him to prove to me that he is a man and the only way men prove themselves is to face one another.
Total rubbish, arrant nonsense, very disheartening for a man who is married to his own wife to still be chasing other men’s wife, right inside the church.
I am sorry to say sir, (he bowed to Pastor Emma at this point) this man is worse than a goat, he is a worm.
He had just ended my wonderful marriage and I am also so disappointed in that woman I called my wife.
But because I will never lay a finger on a woman and I don’t want dead bodies picked up from my house, I have packed her belongings from my house.
I brought the ones that I know she can afford to pay for. She should take them along with her to this man’s house. She has my account details and would pay me for them.
I have spent over eighty-five million naira on this lady in the few years we have been married. Trips round the world, best restaurants, most expensive facial surgeries and best of anything money can buy.
I’m handing her over to you now, Mr. worm, let her stay with you also.
Here is my account number (putting his hand into his pocket searching frankly for a piece of paper, when he got the piece of paper out, he handed it over to Pastor)
He continued saying; give that worm my account number. I give him three months to transfer the eighty-five million naira I have spent on this woman into my account because he just got himself a new wife.
Now that is what I’ve come to say. I’m sorry Pastor, I’m not in the mood for counselling now.
I can’t disobey you, I can’t say no to you, so I’ll rather not listen to you at all.
Please Pastor, don’t tell me not to go. Don’t tell me what to do, I want to have a permanent record that I never disobeyed you, so please Pastor let me go.
After saying all these, he stormed towards the door.
Haaaa, wife number three within one hour……
Pastor is here doing nothing as men are dashing my husband new wives.
Pastor didn’t say anything; he was busy speaking in quiet tongues.
Abeg, who tongues help in this situation. Even Paul said tongues can’t help people that can’t understand it.
Just as Oga “Mike Tyson” got to the door, his wife or should I say my husband’s newest acquired wife dropped a bomb shell.
She said it quietly to Pastor but every one of us heard it loudly.
Oga boxer at the door froze.
My husband’s mouth was so wide open that spittle was dropping.
Even Pastor that was forming superman stopped invoking tongues for a minute.
Me!!! My legs became weak and refused to carry me again.
She said: I am taking poison now and I want to die, but not here. I want to die in his arms. She pointed to her husband.
Just then she brought out snipper, the very strong insecticide and raised it to her mouth…..