MY PREGNANT WIFE (EPISODE 2 & 3
“You are under arrest”, said one of the Police Officers
“For what?” I protested
“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a law court. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you”
I have never heard a Nigerian Police Officer recite those words to that point.
“What is my offense?”
No one answered me
One of the officers brought out his handcuff
I turned to the middle aged man and asked with all amount of humility:
“Sir, what have I done?”
“If I were you, I would keep quiet and save my strength for what is to come”
At that point, they had my hands cuffed
I let loose my voice
“What is to come, Sir?”
“Who are you and what have I done?”
I was still shouting like a parrot who has eaten too much pepper as I was led away
My voice alerted many people as they rushed to see what happened
I told myself that I would not be taken without a fight
So I started dragging with the officers
They kept pushing me like someone who has committed a treasonable felony against his country
I kept dragging
They kept pushing
People were still watching us, but no one had the balls to intercede
Finally, they pushed me outside the facility to a waiting van.
I have never seen this type of police van in this side of the country.
It was so beautiful
On sighting the van, I knew I was in for a long thing
Before they bundled me into the van, I turned to take a final look at the middle aged man, but he was nowhere to be found.
He must have stayed back at the reception where I was arrested.
After locking me in the van, two of the officers returned to the man, while the remaining four drove me to the station.
That was my first time going to the station as a suspect.
My dislike for Police Stations had reached the heavens even before that day.
I started thinking of the crime I committed in helping a pregnant woman who was involved in an accident.
‘Who was she’, I thought
‘Was that her husband?’
‘What made him that bitter with someone who helped his wife?’
“You think you people own the roads”, one of the officers broke the silence.
“We will teach you a lesson you will never forget, reckless driver”, said another officer.
“I am not a driver. I only assisted to take her to the hospital.”
“You still dey talk, abi? E be like say you never sabi wetin you don enter so ooo”
I refused to respond
In less than three minutes, we were at the station.
“Is this the idiot?” asked a female police behind the counter.
“Na him ooo”
They pushed me behind the counter and uncuffed me.
The female officer was a true definition of beauty.
She was a young fair girl of about 23.
I saw her dimples and gap tooth when she smiled.
She stood up to unplug her phone from the socket.
I saw her true beauty from behind.
Her legs were like freshly harvested yams from Benue State.
Her waist was well kitted with belt.
I was staring at her and wondering what such a beauty was doing in the Nigeria police force.
She returned and asked me to stand up.
A male officer approached and searched my pockets and found only my ATM card.
It was at that point I remembered I left my wife in the kitchen.
I remembered the cylinder I left on the road opposite the gas station.
The female officer collected the ATM card for documentation and smiled at me.
‘Why was she smiling?’, I thought
Instead of Chidinma killing me, let Amaka disappoint me.
I looked at my third left finger and remembered I left my wedding ring on top of the freezer in the kitchen.
And my phone?
Still on top of the freezer
I looked at the wall clock directly opposite the counter.
It was 7:49pm
My seven months pregnant wife was still very hungry.
I knew I cannot be bailed at that hour.
So I turned to the female officer and smiled.
“Please can I use your phone? I want to call my lawyer”.
© Ezekiel Umoren
MY PREGNANT WIFE (EPISODE 3)
“Excuse me?” , said the female officer
“Please help me with your phone. Let me inform my lawyer that I’m here”
“It’s like you don’t have eyes. Can’t you see it is already late?”
“What will your lawyer be doing here at this time of the night”
“You should be thanking your God that you’re still here”
“Don’t you know you should be cooling your feet in the cell by now?”
“You are lucky you are yet to write your statement”
“So you better keep quiet and sit down there”
At that point, my arrest did not pain me anymore
But those words from that beautiful she-devil was killing me slowly
Moments ago, she was smiling at me
What triggered her to speak in that manner?
I was still starring at her when suddenly she and other officers stood up and threw a salute
I turned to look at who they saluted
Behold it was the middle aged man who had ordered my arrest at the hospital
He moved straight to an office
Three officers followed him
I started thinking of what will happen next
But before I could think of something reasonable
He returned and walked straight to a waiting vehicle
One of the officers that followed him to the office came to the counter
He whispered words to the female officer
She turned to me
“Young man, you’ll have to write your statement”
She handed me a paper and pen
“Let me call my lawyer please”
“My friend will you shut up and write your statement there?” ,shouted another officer
I collected the writing materials and started writing
I wrote everything that happened
Everything that happened from my house to the police station
I handed her the paper and she started reading
I was staring at her beauty as she was reading my statement
‘What a wasted beauty!’
‘What a misappropriation of public beauty!’
I was still trying to find the connection between her beauty and the attitude she just displayed
“Are you married?” , she asked
“For how long?”
“Is this her first pregnancy?”
“But the report has it that you and your gang are armed robbers.
That you were returning from a failed robbery operation when your vehicle got involved in an accident. Several items were recovered from your vehicle, including three revolvers, an axe, 2 matchets and a packet of …”
“This is totally untrue”, I protested.
“My wife is still waiting for me in the house”
“My gas cylinder is still there on the road”
“There is no one at home to look after my wife”
“She was having pains in her tummy when I left”
I didn’t know when tears started rolling down my cheeks
“I want to go home”, I added
“Don’t cry, you’ll go home”, she said
“I didn’t do it. I’m not the person, there’s a mixup somewhere”
“I believe you, but there is a problem”, she added
“What’s the problem?”
“Oga said we should detain you”
“The man that left few minutes ago”
“Who is he?”
“That’s our Deputy Commissioner of police”
“Is the woman his wife?”
“No. She’s the 3rd wife of the Assistant Inspector-General of Police. She’s a special surgeon working with Ibom Specialist Hospital and was returning from work when she had the accident.”
“Jesus Christ! So where is the husband?”
“The husband is on a National Assignment in Niger Republic, but has ordered for your detention until he returns.”
“Oh no! This is not happening. Is he coming back tomorrow?”, I asked
“He’s coming back in 6 months time”