Chooo, we collect our hard earned money #800,000.
I swear to God, everybody just dey like ant for our eyes. Dem born you well to talk to us anyhow. Infact the senator pikin no fit dare us.
We quickly got out of the baba ijebu office to avoid story that touches the tail.
Me: oboy, see as that guy dey look us.
I said to Samuel. #800,000 don blind us to an extent we dey suspect ants wey dey pass.
Samuel: *looked at the innocent guy in suit* na true oo, see as the idiot dey waka!
Me: abeg make we follow another road.
We followed another road and a girl dressed decently entered our front. On a normal day, our brain for tell us na deeper life she be judging from her dressing and bible in her hand but now na security things on point.
Samuel: you see this ashawo for our front?
Me: i think say na only me dey suspect her oo..
Samuel: i fit bet my money say she go corner us, seduce us and steal our money.
Me: na true oo.. Thank God, see bank for here!!
We entered the bank and deposited 300k while holding 100k each in our pocket for sweet mouth.
Out of that 100k, i deposited 50k to my mum. My dad was late and his wicked brothers took over his property leaving only one mud hut for my mum with my three siblings.
I deposited 50k first because i know my mum, she will surely ask me where did i get such an amount of money when i have no job and believe me, telling her is from baba ijebu is very dangerous.
She despise such things alot because to she, they are addictive and gambling is a sin in the sight of God. Abegee, free me jare.
She called me asking me where i got the money but una know na. One and two lies is enough to finish the trick.
That day, we bought one crate of stout, one crate of Guinness, one crate henieken, one crate of gulder, one crate fayrouz, one crate origin and finally, one crate of malt for children.
We rented a complete DJ set and blast the neighbourhood. That day was a day to be remembered by all. We rock and enjoyed life like never before.
3 DAYS LATER
I received a call from hassan.
Hassan: *shouting* oboy oboy oboy…
Me: oboy wetin.
Hassan: dem don select you as the PA of stephanie after i grease my oga hand.
Me: eeeeeeehhhh Stephanie ooooo.
I jumped out of our room and was running down our street shouting one word STEPHANIE.
Me: yes yes yes *like Daniel Bryan*
Me: yes, i shall work with STEPHANIE..
I said running down the street shouting for everyone to hear.
Soon enough, boys began to follow me.. At first, i thought they were my followers and well wishers but when i looked closely, i saw that they were approaching me faster with ropes in their hands and Samuel was leading them.
I quickly took off running like temple run ahead of them.
Me: *running* why dem dey chase me now?
I asked myself and said i should look down, it was then i realised that from my house to here [about 70 meters away] i was running NAKED.
Just had my tiny boxers on. I know if them catch me for sure i am doomed.
They would take me to hospital and i would miss my interview with my dear STEPHANIE.
So i took of running 70kilometres per minute no be hour
Samuel: *leading the group of boys* Faster make una no let am enter market. Faster!!!!!!