Me:Chaii, see as this food dey shine like say tomorrow no dey. Wait oo, shey pepper dey enough. Make i add small first.
I served the food on her dining table and went to her room.
Me: the delicious is ready ma.
Stephanie: *smiled but quickly frowned* this one you said the delicious is ready enh, i have high hopes oo.
Me: no problem ma, just come and eat it..
Stephanie: no problem, i am coming.
I went to the sitting room and was watching an action film when she bounced in with a bomb short and spaghetti top, wow she look nice.
I was staring at her with mouth opened and forgot the film i was watching. She quickly turned back and saw me looking at her, she paused, smiled a little and went to her dining table.
Stephanie: haa, this one your food is brown am i save?
Me: *from the sitting room* yes ma, very safe.
She took one spoon, hesitated for awhile before putting it in her mouth.
Me: *chaiii, why she come do face like person why sh*t dey worry na, strong sh*t for that matter*
she took another spoon and her face was looking horrible, so horrible.
Stephanie: so sweet, would you come and take a hug?
I rushed towards her, as i was close enough, na three sound i hear..
immediately the hot slaps landed on my face, darkness was upon the surface of the whole house, i no dey see anything again but i dey hear voice.
Stephanie: are you mad, are you stupid? So you want to kill me with this poison huh?
Me: *i no talk, i still dey observe if my optic lobes go send message to my eyes make them open*
Stephanie: and i thought you were a cook, you know what? You are fired!!!
Me: *gen gen, my eye come clear*
as she won go i run kneel down hold her for leg. Chaiii, i bad oo. See hot romancing stuff, i just dey smooch the long, straight,smooth and beautiful leg.
Me: please ma don’t do this to me, its the work of the devil.
Stephanie: leave me. Are you not the one that cooked it.. Are you the devil? Just leave my house, you are fired.
Ok, time to man up. I use the hot slaps to my advantage. Hot tears run down my eyes.
Me: please ma if i leave where do i go to? Please ma have mercy on me. My father died when i was a very young boy. Our properties were seized by our wicked uncles. They only left a mud house for my mother. We are almost four in our family and my poor mum did her best too send me to school. She sold all her wrappers, all her clothes and jewelleries. Now that i am a graduate, is it not fair to pay her back for what she did? If i leave this job, where can i get a nice job for me to use and look after my mother and siblings.. Please ma don’t fire me for the sake of my innocent mother and younger ones.
I said crying. If to say she no fire me, na kitchen i for cry all this cry. My face still dey pain me self.
Stephanie: but why did you cook that poison for me? Shey you said you can cook?
Me: i wanted to prepare bread and tea with eggs for you… Truth is, i can’t cook but was afraid to say no.
I said with more tears.
Stephanie: is alright stand up.
Taarh, make i stand up no touch this leg again, tofiakwa.
Stephanie: i said stop crying stand up.
Before i know wetin dey happen, she raise me come hug me, omo see the way i clenched her to my chest enh..
Stephanie: sorry for the slaps?
Me: don’t mention, i enjoyed every bit of it.
Stephanie: hahahaha, funny you. I am coming let me bring the script for the second editing.
She said and left.
Chaiii, if three hot blinding slaps and one sack letter go make me dey hug her everyday, omo sign me in…..