Before i knew it, i was surrounded by huge guys.
“I talked to stephanie”
Me: hahahaha i talked to stephanie.
I just stood there smiling at them with only one thought, stephanie!
Girl: hey ooo heyoo, mad man, foolish man, blind ma….
Me: *smiling and shining my 32*
Girl: *holding me by the waist and shaking me vigorously* today you go pay you this good for nothing blind idiot.
Me: *still smiling, no idiot shall spoil my day* how much be the egg.
I said retaining the wide grin.
Girl: mtcheeew * by now the guys don over charge, maybe them they wait for me to pay first before the go descend on me* my money na one thousand five hundred.
I just jejely put my hand inside my pocket, remove my wallet. I still they smile. As i open the wallet, two cockroach first jump.
Me: i dey come first.
I said with a smile as i killed the cockroach. I looked inside the wallet and saw one hundred naira note and two tear tear ten naira notes.
Since i no get money to pay make i call Samuel, i thought with a smile. Some passers by thought i was mad but they never knew what just happened today in ALHAJI FAROUK PRODUCTION LTD.
I checked my account balance and saw minus three hundred naira. Those useless network no go gree burrow me again.
Me: *still smiling* can i use your phone please?
I no know wetin she they think. Maybe she think say i rich well well. She just carry the phone give me as i dial Samuel number.
Thug 1: you sure say this guy never mad?
Thug2: see as how him dey shine teeth like someone wey dey advertise close up!!
Thug 3: capon make we just waste am now?
Boss: cool down make we watch this drama first!
Samuel: who be this?
Me: *smiling and sounding happy* ur first pikin.
Samuel: idris why you dey call me with another person number?
Me: because i won tell you something.
Me: stephanie talk to me.. Jesus, she talked to me. She fine die eeh.
Me: i swear to God… See bobby, see ynash, see leg. That babe get levels men.
Samuel:eh eh, so you dey happy ba?
Me: you dey mad, see mumu question, i dey happy like say tomorrow no dey.
Samuel: na how many car she carry come.
Me: just one BMW and another one wey bodyguards…..
Girl: madman, my money ooo.
Me: eh eh, hahahaha. Samuel i dey inside trouble oo.. You go fit come dat street wey near ALHAJI FAROUK PRODUCTION LTD.
Samuel: see mumu, who you won catch April fool?
Me: *laughing seriously* hahahahaha, i swear to God, i dey inside trouble.
Samuel: and the trouble dey make you jubilate?
Me: *chaii na me that celebrity talk to.. I continued smiling sounding happy* abeg come na. Hahahaha.
Samuel: abeg idris i no get your time. My babe don come bye bye.
Chaii the line don cut and na only Samuel fit save me.. I no even send, i just they smile.
Me: *smiling* Money no dey for na but follow me go….
capon don slap me and my brain format. The girl just shift go sitdown dey watch.
For thirty minutes i dey blind because i dey receive random slaps from all direction but the funniest thing be say i dey laugh.
Before i know, the park me and i fall for ground but still i dey smile.
Thug 2: iyeee, so you mean say this beatings no dey enter am.
Thug 1: see as him dey laugh
Thug 3: make we give am VIP treatment.
Before i know wetin they happen, thug 3 go carry bottles. He give one to each guy.
Them scatter the bottle for my head but with stephanie for my mind, na odeshi i still they smile.
Capon: shoooo, this guy really chop oo.. Tiger.
Thug 1: sir
capon: go bring me tyres.
Thug 1: yes boss.
Thug 2: sir
capon: bring me fuel and petrol.
Me: iyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee immediately my odeshi disappear. Stephanie disappear from my mind. My smile turn to cry and i come dey feel pain for my head as the boys they bring the requirements.