I kept starring at the piece of paper on me, yet nothing in it was understandable except that of the six thousand four hundred naira i got billed.
The call that came into my phone made me alerted and realised the full implication of what came on me. It was a strange number
The voice i heard was familiar
but i needed to be sure.
Maybe because the person is not speaking out clearly
“who am i on to”?
eehn! Bunmi, where d’ fuk are you.
” Im in a hospital at Ilorin ”
“ha, what happened” i enquired.
” i wanted to give you a surprise visit and will call you immediately im at my friend’s place in Lagos. But we got involved in an accident around Ilorin. I was rushed to the general hospital here.”
” im so sorry to hear this, b.bbb..but how are you feeling now ?”
” please call me back, and she hung up”
Again, i was back at the reality before me.
I never knew this people could be so heartless, how can you allow me finish a meal before giving me the bills, haba!
Beny is truly a ‘devil’. She has ordered a bowl of fried chips and crunchy chicken laps. Had i known not to have ordered same delicacy for myself, i should have just asked for a table water and tell her im purging. No wonder the bill got so outrageous.
I asked Beny if she was through with her meal and she said yes. As i was about standing up to take a move down to the counter, my eyes quickely scanned through the table.
“Ha! ” i screamed.
Beny looked up from her phone and asked me why i screamed. I said nothing…. I knew she got the picture of what was wrong. I movef away from our table, and was off to the counter.
“ha, im cursed, someone has truly sent this lady to deal with me”. Do you know that Beny ate just a bite from her chicken meal and said she was through. Meaning i will pay a whooping 6400 naira for a meal and one winch wasted it.
In no time i was already facing the Indian man who heads them there.
“sir, can i drop my phone and get some cash from my house to settle my bill. I never imagined my bills will be as much as what i have here”
“oh so sorry about that, we actually dont like the idea of collecting customers valuables in exchange for their bills. Okay, let me see the phone.”
I dipped my hand into my pocket and brought out my Gionee m5. The phone was truly a breauty to behold. I gave him the phone but what i heard next shocked me beyond
“This is the phone sir, i will back soon” i said as i handed the phone to him.
“you must be stupwid to say that, do you think we are playing here? Im calling the police.”
I thought he was joking, ” why are you calling the police sir”?
“so you want to swindle us here, you too much Ali baba” he said in a typical indian way of speaking English.
I tried to fartom what he meant by all this, i couldn’t understand until Beny walked up to the counter and asked what was going on.
” babe never mind, just go and sit down, i will settle it soon” what could i have said, i don’t want her to know i will soon get arrested for eating a scrumptious meal and yet, refusing to pay.
” you came with him?” The bald headed Indian man asked Beny and she nodded in affirmation.
” see, he too much Ali baba, all food chop chop and no money to pay. Now he gave me this kind of useless phone”
That was when it dawn on me that he is angry because i gave him a phone that has crack on the screen. Imagine! Do you know how much Gionee m5 is been sold? Truth be told guys, that phone screen crack pattern resembles the map of Nigeria, but its still very much working.
I got so angry with this man that i snatched my phone away from him and made a call.
“hello, Bisi please check where i keep my shoes, There this shoe…..that my white shoe, i think it is inside the socks… I think i kept some money there, please can you bring it to me inside Ikeja city mall now?”
” but you told me you dont have anything on you this morning, how come you have money inside your shoes again na waa for you oo” she answered.
” can you bring it for me or i should come and take it myself?” She hung up without giving me a definite answer.
I was still checking if truly she hung up on me while i was still on a hot seat. You know that feeling you have when someone hang up while you are still talking to him/her. You know how you’ll be checking the phone again as if the phone is the real enemy… That was exactly how i was looking at my phone. I was like what insolence!
” so you have someone in your house, that is why you don’t want to visit abi” Beny broke me in between and i got more confused.
From Indian man to Bisi and now the original parasite who have caused me my trouble, Beny.. “Ha!” i sighed and was ready to just die.
Like play like play, Indian man have started alerting the security personel around. I just started seeing the whole thing in its true colour.
I immediately tried Bisi number again and she dropped the call. Maybe she pressed the red button by mistake. I tried again and same thing happened… I kept trying more and more but Bisi kept pressing her red button, and i got frustrated.
I was just about asking Benu to salvage the situation when two hefty security guys neared me and asked me what i am going to do or they go lock me up in there guard room. Immeditely i heard ‘guardroom’ my heart nearly jumped out of my mouth.
“sir, im calling someone already please be patient” i spoke with the best humility i could ever thought of.
“oga i will give you just 20 minutes to settle yourself, or else…. Hmmmmn”
Subscribe to Youtube