Really though, I was genuinely upset. Not only because she was ignoring me, but because for the first time in my life, someone that I was good friends with and that I was attracted to, might never speak to me again. Not to mention, I was upset that I now knew my chances of ever being with her had gone down to zilch.
Well, eventually she did come around. It took what seemed like forever though, but I had Ava by my side the entire time. Things eventually got back to normal. Well, now, I can effectively say they’re about as back to normal as they’re ever going to get, but at that point in time, they got back to the point where she was talking to me and texting me and working her way back to filling my inbox every day.
I can honestly say that since then, I have never pushed the subject with her, and for the longest time, I tried not to even refer to anything that suggested anything dealing with liking women (cause it honestly does come up in conversation every so often, at least for me and my friends). Time passed, and what Sam probably saw as joking around, I admit was innocent flirting. I wasn’t trying to flirt, but hey, I liked the girl, and now that she knew it, I wasn’t going to hide it.
Over time, more things worked their way into the conversation. I still currently feel a bit uncomfortable (that’s not quite the word, maybe apprehensive) about bringing bisexual topics into conversation, but she no longer avoids me like the plague after I do bring something up (note, when I bring it up, it’s not related to her).
Things became amusing, considering the few people that knew what was actually going on with me and her. I remember one day when I was walking along in the back-room with Ava and Samantha. Samantha was leading, and me and Ava were trailing behind. I remember is Ava turning to look at me and then start laughing uncontrollably. “What?” I asked, completely clueless. She just shook her head and I asked her what was so funny. She simply told me “nothing” and moved on. She later came up and told me that she had seen me staring at Sam’s ass. My god, we laughed for the longest time about that. Sam never did figure out what was so funny.
Over time, Sam became one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I’ve never laughed so hard with someone, gone through so much with someone, and felt so much for someone, without actually dating them. As time moved on, I found out that Alex had gotten married to his girlfriend. First person I told: Samantha. I remember at the same time wanting to avoid the subject and wanting to talk about the subject. Turns out, I told her and then avoided the subject, but I felt that her being there really helped me deal me with that. See, I had something else to focus my attention on, so I didn’t dwell on it.
Around the following Christmas, I had the bright idea of getting a live tree. I got a nice, full Douglas fir from a local tree farm, and had a different co-worker help me set it up. After a week, I noticed it precariously starting to lean in the stand. I texted Samantha, asking her to come over after work and help me straighten the tree. While I thought that this would be a pretty quick thing to do, it turned into an hour-long fiasco, where she couldn’t let go of the tree without it immediately toppling back over. We finally got the tree stabilized, and she went home.
After she left, I laid down on the couch to watch tv. I quickly started drifting off to sleep. I remember waking up and falling asleep several times, noticing each time that some time had passed by the clock sitting on the tv.