I didn’t know what to do anymore. I didn’t know what to think. I had based every plan I had on college and now that there was no such thing ascollege for me anymore, I was lost.
I sat on that bench for hours under the scorching morning sun and cried. I cried so much I didn’t even bother to hide it. There was just so much pain and there was nothing I could do about it. Hours passed and i was sitting on the bench. No one came to me or said anything to me.
When it was evening, I went back to my hostel. Since I was no longer a student, I would soon be replaced. My roommate was almost in tears when she saw my condition and by the time I finished narrating all that had happened to her, she was crying so much.
I tried and said all she could to encourage and motivate me. She told me not to let that be what would put an end to the happiness I so deserved. Life had fucked me so badly and I had screamed out like a bitch but life had to know it had fucked with the wrong girl.
I was a creature of pain and I knew pain like my own name and it was with that pain that I would fight through life because i had taken enough. I had been beaten but I wasn’t buried. I had to show life that I never shied away from pain.
If my parents thought they had won, they were wrong. I would rise and I would fight and I would win and at the end of everything, when all has been said and done, all that pain, my parents’ very existence would never exist to me!
I wasn’t a big fan of motivational speeches, but what my roommate said that day was what got me up again. I mightn’t have listened to her if this hadn’t happened but she was right about one thing, I couldn’t allow my parents to win.
They thought they were going to break me with all they had done, but they had to remember that I knew pain like I knew my own name and this was no different. It wasn’t going to be over till it was over.