The bleeding stopped after weeks of cleaning with gentian violet and even though I was noticeably pale and thinner, no one suspected a thing. Or maybe they did but they just ignored it like they always did with me. I could walk now with only a slight limp and I didn’t sulk at all. To everyone who saw me, I was pretty normal but to anyone who really had eyes and looked at me, I was far from normal.
To me, my soul was dead. I was a walking dead.
I was lucky not to have contracted any venereal infection from the men. For weeks, I thought myself lucky until I fell sick.
It started with the headache. Then the fainting spells. I popped painkillers and antibiotics as often as I could but this time, there was no reaction. When I had exhausted everything I could do, I remained in my room and prayed that whatever it was, it would pass soon. But it didn’t. The pain grew and the discomfort continued to grow alongside with it till I became scared. I thought I was going to die.
I needed help. I didn’t want to die. I had dreams for my future. I didn’t want that to be taken away from me too. I was going to ask for help. It was the only thing I could do.
My parents weren’t home at that time. They had gone out of the country on a business trip. I had to wait for another week till they returned. If it was just a week of pain and discomfort and nausea I needed to endure, I could take it.
So I waited. I waited for my parents to return from home in hope that maybe, just maybe they wouldnotice how sick and unhealthy I looked and decideto help me for once in their lives, but i was wrong. If i had known how wrong i was, i would have left home long before then.
The day my parents returned, it was a morning. My sister had gone to school and I was on break from college. I had been sitting on the couch by the door waiting for them to knock. I fell asleep there. I didn’t know I had fallen asleep till I heard a loud rap on the door. The sound woke me from my slumber and ishot up immediately.
Perhaps it was the sudden movement or maybe it was just the dizzy spells but I lost consciousness for a couple of seconds and fell to the ground with a loud thud. I was momentarily stunned as I laid on the ground trying very hard not to cry from the pain that I felt.