Breathing heavily, panicking…
Bidemi quickly switched on the light
Bidemi: Tolu what is it? Nightmare?
Me: Thank God, it was only a dream. It was a dream, it was a dream… I’m not doing it again ooo, i’m not.
Bidemi: Doing what?
Me: I no dey abort again oooo, i just had a terrible, i died in the process. This is a warning.
Bidemi: Tolu, its just a dream. You actually dreamt about because you were scared all along. Nothing will happen to you, the doctor is so good.
Me: Haaa! No, i no do ooo. I no wan die… This is a warning from God. I am not doing this, its either Zvicka marry me or take responsibility of the baby.
Bidemi: What is wrong with you?
Me: I need to pray
I went on my knees and began to pray while Bidemi watch me doing so, in the middle of the night
I made up my mind not abort the pregnancy out of fear. Isn’t that a warning for me, i shouldn’t make the mistake of aborting this pregnancy. After several pressure from Bidemi, i didn’t abort the pregnacy, i can’t kill myself. Zvicka just have to take responsibility or marry me. After several days, Zvicka kept calling to confirm if i’ve aborted the pregnacy. I avoided his calls cos i didn’t know what to tell him, i was kinda scared to tell him i won’t be aborting the pregnancy. I was so confused and fed up of the whole situation, i didn’t know what to do anymore. I was so restless, i couldn’t concentrate anymore, i was in disarray. I couldn’t go home to my mum, Obinna has also turned his back on me, haven’t i made the biggest mistake of my life. The most painful part is that i’ve been unable to talk to my son, Obinna wouldn’t allow me talk to my son, i called and sent him several text messages to allow me talk my son, but he declined, to the extent that, he didn’t return my son to my mother, my son began to live with his parent. I was devastated, even if Obinna hates me, he shouldn’t come between me and my son. I don’t want my son to be trained in the ibo way alone. Sigh! I can’t loose it all, its either Zvicka marry me to cover this whole shame i’m about to get myself into.
I had to start wearing fake engagement ring in other to shut my haters up, i just had to fake it. Zvicka must marry me by force, i just have to go diabolical way, i must marry a white man, i can’t loose in all, I just can’t the way to cover this upcoming shame is Zvicka to marry me, i don’t want to be his babymama, i want to be his wife, he just have to divorce his wife to be with me. I will go to any lenght just to make sure this happen. It is not only Cynthia that can marry a whiteman, i’m also eligible like every other girl.
After some days, i was the only one is school, Bidemi has travelled cos we were still preparing for Project defence, moreover i just have to stay back in school to cover my references. Zvicka kept on calling, i finally picked his call, i told him i can’t abort the pregnancy anymore. He begged me on phone, he said he was dissapointed, i told him i don’t want to die. All of a sudden Zvicka began to raise his voice on phone, i got angry and threatened him that i was going to dent his image in his company and i will gladly inform his wife and family about the pregnancy. He hanged the phone on me, can you imagine that, instead of him to be pleading. Its either he marry me nothing else, he just have to marry me here in Nigeria, as a matter of a fact i want to be his legal wife. He kept saying he loves his wife and family, didn’t he think of that when he [email protected] me without condom. I will deal with him, i quickly picked up my phone to call my friend who wanted to one Celestial pastor (woli)
Her name is Dorcas, i explained everything to her and she promised to help me on it. She also attend a white garment church, i never informed Bidemi, although she wasn’t in school. Dorcas took me to the celestial pastor, that place is so far. We got to the pastor’s place, i explained everything to him and he said he was gonna do some spiritual work for me. I even paid him then he told me to come after some days for the spiritual items. I got there, he gave me one black soap, 5 litres of water, and some substance to put it in my cream. Then he told me i should use these items anytime i want to visit Zvicka, that he was gonna love me so deeply, he would leave his wife for me. I was happy, i will eventually marry a whiteman. Immediately i left the pastor’s place, i quickly called Zvicka and apologised, told him i would be visiting him that weekend.