As the scene unfolded, the Holy Spirit made me aware of how foolish I had been then
“The same mistake Adam made when Eve gave him the fruit of knowledge and wisdom was the same mistake you made Tricia” He spoke to me and I listened
“Instead of Adam to tell Eve that ‘Eve, this fruit is not meant to be touched by us. You are very wrong’ he just took the fruit and ate” the calm voice continued
“When someone starts a discussion, no matter how interesting it sounds, it would be best if you called on me to filter the words and interpret them in the stereo of your ears so that you would know the right answer to give.” The spirit lectured me again and tears rolled down my face
It dawned on me how wrong I had been and how the little conversation with my husband had made me wrong
“That was why I couldn’t pray aright for her?” I seemed toask
“The mistake most of you make is that, after condemning and complaining and criticizing someone, you would then go on your knees to pray for such. It’s not done” he said, softly
“You complain and confess that Nigeria is this and that, that your business is that and this and afterwards, you come with a fake faith to pray”
“The faith that was not in place when you were complaining suddenly resurrects when you are on your knees o pray? No! it’s not done! Faith knows that the God on the mountain is the God in the Valley. It speaks positively both in the valley and on the mountain. It doesn’t say ‘God is dead’ in the valley and changes it to ‘I know you are alive…really alive’ on the mountain”
That was just so inspiring and refreshing
“I am so sorry Lord. For joining the multitude to call Mercy possessed, I am so sorry Lord. Please forgive me and forgive my husband in Jesus’ name” that was the short prayer I said and then I felt peace
That was right too!
“The bag?” I looked round to get what that meant and I stood up when I saw her beautiful pink bag on the table where I had dropped it.
I picked it up and unzipped it.
The books in there were neatly wrapped with old newspaper and I opened the notes to see her legible handwriting
My heart craved to hold her close to my chest
I felt a whole new episode of love for her.
Then, my eyes fell on a diary- a pink diary
I picked it up and made to open it but it was locked
Where would the key be right now, Lord?
I checked inside the bag again and found a small wallet.
I opened it and found neatly arranged about ten, one hundred naira notes.
There was a small zip and I opened
There was a small golden key attached to a goldfish key holder.
I was glad!
“Thank you Holy Spirit” I said as I packed the books back into her bag and put the bag aside.
I settled down comfortably but anxiously to open the diary and digest whatever it was that was written therein
Jan 1, 2016
Alice got me this beautiful diary as a new year present as I requested. She said she got it from her monthly salary. Yippee! Now I’ve got to enter in everything that Mummy does to me inside here
I was so sure that I was in for an explosion of a kind even as I read on.
Jan 5, 2016
Mummy came into the room I share with Sissy and unfortunately, I had wet the bad again.*sobs*. She said henceforth, I should sleep at the corridor at night because I was just too ridiculous and impossible! I pleaded to no avail
I couldn’t swallow that at all!
My elder’s wife wouldn’t do that to her biological daughter without a reason
I read on as my heart raced
Jan 6, 2016
Mummy just slapped me, kicked me and called me a bastard. She reminded me that I was just found at the house doorstep, forsaken! She reminded me that she was not my mother and that I should stop calling her mummy or her husband daddy just because I told her that I didn’t appreciate the fact that I was sent to the balcony to sleep last night
I started speaking in tongues, uncontrollably as cold descended upon me.
My teeth gnashed against themselves as I shook vehemently.
“I cannot believe this ooo” I said to myself
Mercy isn’t their daughter?
As I read on, a sudden headache from nowhere descended on me and I had instant fever
“Holy Spirit” I called out as I felt my forehead with the back of my palm- it was hot!
March 7, 2016
My life just got ruined today. A lot happened that even as I write, I curse the day I was born. Daddy fondled with my breasts during morning devotion and I slapped him when I couldn’t believe all that happened. He later pulled me to the room and deflowered me. He said he had waited for the opportunity as he watched me grow *cries*….
This was the last straw that broke the camel’s back for me as I read on
My legs could not carry me as I shook like a feather being driven around by the wind
I started feeling nauseous as I held my tummy and rushed to the adjoining toilet to vomit in the basin
I couldn’t bring myself to understand what had happened
I couldn’t even forgive myself
As I pulled the tap head and water gushed out, I stared into space as my temperature rose.
I was so thirsty as the heat in my body became unbearable
No wonder they termed her possessed!
I sprinkled some water on my forehead and later walked back to the office, shaking like a wet duck
“Holy Spirit” I called out, my voice dancing with cold
I heard some footsteps and quickly ducked as I put the diary in my skirt
The door opened
“Mum, you are here. Dad’s looking for you” my son said to me.
My eyes were very hot in their sockets
“Really! I am coming” I said as I stood up promptly, my head feeling very light
We rushed out of the office and approached the theatre, my legs felt so weak as I could barely compose myself
“My girl, its more than we bargained for” my husband said and I looked deep into his face
He looked shocked as he came near me
“You look faintly. What’s the matter?” he asked
“What’s wrong with Mercy?” I asked, brushing off his question
“It was a miscarriage!” he blurted out just like that- as if it was funny.
I fell into the arm chair behind me as my husband held me firmly, looking so worried and shocked.
“What!” Jean exclaimed almost immediately, coming close to us
“A miscarriage?” he asked again and I blinked hard, tears falling down my face
“Jean, go inside the car. I will …” I was saying but he only looked towards his father
“Is miscarriage not only in pregnant people?” he asked, looking white
“Yes” the father replied and he widened his eyes as he panted heavily
“Mercy couldn’t have been pregnant daddy. It can’t be possible” he said
“But she was. Our girls of nowadays can do what other old women can’t do. We are to trust nobody” my husband said again
Here he was with his judgment again
“I thought she was different” Jean said as he turned away slowly, repeating same thing as he staggered away.
I was just too weak.
To tell my husband to stop his judgment;
To tell my son to come back so he would know that she was really different
I was too weak- just too weak!
“Girl, be strong please. Not all your students would be saints anyways” he said as he patted me softly but I couldn’t talk
I could only cry
“We might have to have a surgery to remove all the residual embryonic or placental tissue in her womb in order to avoid possible irritation or infection of the uterine lining. But she has currently relapsed into comma.” He explained and I only nodded as I rubbed my wet face on his lab coat, sniffing as I did
A doctor ran out of the ward
“Sir, your attention is needed sir. Patient Mercy is gasping for breath” he said and my husband jumped up and went after him
My heart stopped for like two minutes before coming back to life.
I jumped up and was following him when I heard the siren of an ambulance right inside the reception.
Some nurses jumped down and fixed the stretcher
They dumped someone who was dripping blood on the stretcher and wheeled him directly to one of the wards while a nurse ran pass me to the theatre calling ‘Doctor’ agitatedly
Though the person on the stretcher looked so familiar, especially those clothes, I could not link it at all.
I started walking back to the theatre when I saw some of the medical personnel coming out, beads of sweat on their faces.
They all looked dejected
“Is she dead?” I asked so agitatedly
Two of them shrugged and went past me while two nurses shook their heads
My husband looked so disturbed as if he wanted to go somewhere sharply.
He patted my back and whispered into my ears
“The Lord gives and he …” he was saying when I fell down to the ground, my hands on my head.
I didn’t cry though
I was so shocked that even as I fell to the ground, my husband just ran away as fast as his legs could carry him towards the ward where the stretcher was being wheeled to.
I smiled at the nurse holding me and started walking towards the theatre.
The door was opened and I just walked straight to the corpse which had been covered.
I removed the blue cover cloth and fell on her face to start crying vehemently.
What a pure girl!
What pain she had gone through!
What a tragic situation!
“But God, she can’t just die like that?” I cried out as I rubbed my cheek against hers
I felt warmth
Was that my fever rising up still?
I wasn’t sure.
I stood up, touched her neck and felt it- weak pulse
She wasn’t dead!
I was excited
The Holy Spirit didn’t tell me she would die, I just knew it.
I looked at the ventilator to which she was connected and tried to see what I could do
“Ma, please, let’s leave her alone. The Lord knows why…” the nurse was saying
It was even then I realized that someone was with me but I simply shrugged.
A plug on the ventilator looked loose and I pushed in it well and that was all- the pulse came blinking again
I smiled broadly as I looked at the nurse who looked shocked
“Wow! The ventilator must have been mistakenly disconnected when the nurse rushed here to tell the doc about the young boy” the nurse said, smiling
I smiled too
“That boy, what happened to him?” I asked and she shook her head
“A car rammed into his back and flung him down just right here, in front of the hospital. I doubt if the spinal cord isn’t broken” she said and I held my chest
“That’s so serious o. would that be fixed here?” I asked when she smiled
“If the spinal cord is broken, he would have to be flown outside the country. But if there is just a dislocation, it would be fixed here. It’s a serious case o” she said and I shook my head as I glanced back at Mercy
“No wonder, the doctor ran off like that” I said and she shook her head sadly
“He had to madam. That’s his only son” the nurse said and my head banged
I turned to look at her
“He’s the doctor’s son?” I asked, almost going crazy
“Yes ma” she replied courteously
I held her collars, almost lifting her up
“You mean, that’s Jean?” I asked and she nodded sheepishly
I left her and ran out of the ward madly
“Its impossible oooo my Redeemer! Impossible!….Jesu…impossible!” I sang on as I ran towards the theatre where he was wheeled to
No wonder those clothes looked so familiar!
“Jesus, I didn’t bargain for this oooo. Impossible…impossible” I cried on as I ran like I was being pursued
As the scene unfolded, the Holy Spirit made me aware of how foolish I had been then