My legs grew weak, she must know!
How would she be looking at me henceforth?
Many ‘How’ questions flooded my mind that instance. ‘What are you saying? I am. . . Plus. . . Please?’ I stammered and she covered my mouth. ‘I understand dear. What a very young girl of your age is going through, it’s too much. . . It’s too much oh Lord!’ she cried on and my heart shook vehemently in it’s cage.
‘What are you saying? Because daddy beat me inside? I was being rude that’s why,’ I tried to justify the whole situation. She held my hand and smiled ruefully.
‘You need not lie to me my dear friend. What you did is understandable. Being rude by plugging your ears in the church as you didn’t want to hear your molesters preaching. Biting Mrs. Haruna as she dragged you into thehole of your molester and eventually being thrown away like pure water sachet after being used. I understand all your predicament.’ she said truthfully and my heart dropped.
‘How did she know?’ I asked myself that particular question in my head. The truth was what she had said but I could not contain it.
The truth of course is bitter!
I stood up and backed her.
‘What are you saying Alice? Exactly what?’ I asked feigning ignorance, she touched my shoulders and I barked ‘Don’t touch me. You know absolutely nothing about me. You can’t just say what you like and think you are right. Leave me alone,’ I almost shouted. ‘You mean I am wrong?’ she asked, studying my actions, I knew she cared for me but I didn’t think it was right for her to know what was really going on. ‘Yes you are wrong! How dare you say that about me? How dare you say that about my father? How could you believe such a thing about a man of God like that?’ I said further, looking away from her, she looked shocked.
‘You don’t need to run away from the truth Edna. I am your f. . .’ she wanted to say but I had to cut her short ‘There is no truth in what you are saying. Please, Alice stop it!’ I screamed and I started walking away from her. Where should I go?
If I stayed around these people, I would be battered the more.
What should I do?
How did Alice find out?
She was the only person I still had in the whole wide world now.
Why would she find out?
It’s a battle I can fight.
I need nobody else to fight with me. ‘Edna’ I heard a voice call out. It was a very dear voice. But I didn’t want to see him at that time. ‘Edna’ Evans called out again.
Evans is the only son of one of the deacons of the church and he had been my childhood friend. We did almost everything in common until we got to JSS 2 when there was a huge gap between us.
We no longer spoke on phone nor did we gist as we normally did as kids. Now that we are in the senior class, I realise that I was attracted to him. Everything about him appealed to my senses. I never showed it nortold anyone about it though. Exactly what he wanted from me now is what I don’t understand.
As much as I loved him and really did care. I wouldn’t want him near me because if he did, I would really hurt him. He didn’t seem to live me though. He just saw me as a friend. I saw him more than that, hence he should leave me alone.
‘Edna’ he called as he moved close. I was walking like I was being chased ‘Leave me alone!’ I screamed so loudly that my voice rang in the whole compound of the church.
I ran towards the gate. Suddenly someone grabbed me from behind and the next thing I know was that I was bundled into the dark room of the security department of the church. I panted as air rushed through my nasal cavity as if I had oxygen tubes attached to it.
‘Get me a sharp blade.’ those were the words mum said to Benedicta as we ended the prayers that we devotionally say after every church service. Dad didn’t follow us home because he had to wait behind for a post service meeting. I looked into mum’s face, wondering why the tone with which she spoke was so fierce. I had expected a severe punishment after the scene I created in the church, in the morning anyways.
But a blade? I couldn’t just understand. ‘Edna, move here’ she said as her daughter handed a razor to her. She examined the blade as I drew close to her, I was anxious and restless ‘What sort of a stupid blade is this Benedicta? Ben, go to the toilet and check under the towel track. I kept a broken piece of houver. . .’ she kept saying when he cut in. ‘Is it the one that you angrily broke when daddy said the food you cooked was salty?’ he asked and she widened her eyes. ‘Jesus! Benson, are you mad?’ she screamed. Benson sensing trouble quickly ran away, giggling as he did. I shook my head and sighed aloud. ‘Stupid boy.’ she cursed out and looked at me angrily. Eyeing me disdainfully. ‘You this good for nothing, mischievous girl. You had better move here before I slap you with the back of my hand.’ she said as she faced me.
If she was earlier angry, she had become anger itself now. I went close to her while she continued looking at me, making me wondering why she would need a blade.