“Joanne! You killed your sister?” He asked as I could see the anger in his eyes. “Ken..” I broke down in tears and he rushed to my bed touching my hands softly. “Hey..hey..hey please don’t cry, I’m not gonna rat you out” he said raising my chin with his hands.
“You’ve known right?” I asked as he sighed looking away then looked at me again
and played with my fingers.
“Yea” he replied.
“Since when?” I questioned.
“Since you called me to come pick you up, I saw it on my news-feeds” he smiled. Fuck! Why is he so nice to me, I mean I’ve done terrible things to him and yet he hasn’t given up on me.
“You really care about me that much?” I asked.
“Yea, I just wanted you to tell me, I wish you will talk to me more” he said lowly and I shrugged. He is so perfect! That shouldn’t be my problem now right? I just killed someone.
“You are turning yourself in?” He asked and I looked down.
“It’s normal if you are scared, if you want to keep running, I’m ready to run to the end of the world with you Joanne” he proposed and I rolled my eyes. “Ken…”
“But if you turn yourself in, I can ask my parents to arrange good lawyers to fight your case for you, we could call it self defence” he said really fast while I just cried. What did I do to deserve him? What?
“Ken, I’d turn myself in, I can’t be a fugitive forever” I sighed and he rubbed my face with his palm romantically.
“One more thing, before I step out can you please ask Debbie to come see me here, there is something I need to do real quick” I said looking into his eyes as he sat uncomfortably.
“Fine! Anything for you pretty” he smiled and took his leave. I cried some more, I came downstairs to have a glass of water and I met Fiona cleaning the kitchen. “You are Fiona right?” I asked and she shakes in fear. “Yes” she replied still shaking and I just rolled my eyes.
“Get me a glass of water please?” I ordered and she ran to serve me the water. Damn! She must be so scared of me, I mean who wouldn’t be? I’m a murderer! A full human murderer.
After she gave me the water I gulped it all down, then the door clicked open and I saw Debbie running towards me with her arms stretch, I ran into her arms and mouthed a thank you to Ken and he smiled.
“I’ll give you girls some privacy” he beckoned and we moved to the living room.
“Debbie I’m in serious trouble” I panicked.
“Don’t worry darling, The Lord would see you through” she smiled.
“How? Can Jesus take this away? I mean he he erase this and bring Kesha back to life so I wouldn’t have to go to jail?” I asked and she smiled shaking her head. “Well of course he can take your burdens and your sins away, he literally came to earth to die for you and I for that purpose but it doesn’t work that way, the devil has misled to this and you have to face the consequences but you still need to have
faith and receive Jesus into your life, because he said he would show mercy on who he would show mercy. There is still hope for you Joanne” she explained and I burst out in tears.
“Debbie, I want to receive Jesus, maybe he would save me but can a murderer like me be saved?” I asked and she smiled some more.
“Of course, let me give you the instance of a woman in The Bible who committed adultery and they brought her to Jesus holding stones and was ready to persecute her and kill her but Jesus told them that who hasn’t committed a sin before should be the first to cast the stone…”
“How does that affect murder” I interrupted.
“Joanne let me finish. They all dropped the stone one after the other and left, we all have sins, we are not 100 percent holy but His grace sees us through, even me I’m not 100 percent holy, I have my flaws but the difference between you and I is that I take my flaws to Jesus so he would replace them with perfection, I ask God for help that’s the only difference.” She said I was amazed.
“I thought you had no stain, I mean you are so perfect” I tell her and she smiled. “I’m not perfect…what I like about that story was what Jesus told the woman, he said go and sin no more. No matter your sin, as far as you confess it to Jesus, he would save you, cleanse you and redeem you” she patted my back because by now I was already in tears.
“Do you remember that scripture I gave you as an assignment?” She asked I sniffed.
“What scripture?” I sniffed again.
“Proverbs 23:26” she said.
“No” I replied looking away.
“Well it says and I quote ‘my son give me thine heart and observe my ways’ Jesus is at the door of your heart knocking, are you ready to open?” She asked and I nodded.
“I’m glad to hear that. Now say these words after me…”
After the confessions, she prayed for me and I felt sudden peace in my heart, I decided to go home to see my family before I turn myself in.
“Joanne, one more thing always remember this scripture Isaiah 43:2- fear not! When you pass through the waters I will be with you and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you, when you pass through the fire you shall not be burned; neither shall the flame scotch you’ The Lord Jesus is always with you even when you don’t know it. ” she quoted and I smiled. “Thank you Debbie” I thanked her.
“For everything, you’ve been more than a friend to me but a sister” I hugged her and she returned the hug.
“You ready…oh sorry I interrupted an emotional moment” Ken apologised and I smirked.
“Okay Joanne, time to go home and face the music!” I tell my self after a long sigh. Ken drove me to my compound and attempted to go in with me but I stopped him. “No Ken, you’ve done more than enough for me, you can move on with your life now” I tell him and he had a puzzled look on. “What are you talking about?” He asked.
“I’m ending this relationship, since I’d be in prison now I don’t want you to come visit or do anything of any sort. You deserve better” I said and he shrugged. “No Joanne, you are my girlfriend and would be my girlfriend no matter the circumstances” he held my hands but I released my self from his wit.
“Too bad you are not my boyfriend” I opened the door and ran inside, I felt bad for him but I felt worse for myself, I’m a murderer now. I stepped inside. it was all over the news. “The daughter of Peter H. Quay, the senior pastor and founder of COSM had been confirmed dead and sources has it that one of Peter’s children who was identified to be Joanne H. Quay killed the illegitimate child; Kesha H. Quay due to jealousy…” My dad turned off the TV as he paced to and fro while my mom cried.
They saw me and my mom ran towards me along with my siblings.
“Joanne where the hell have you been?” Jaden asked and I smiled.
“I’ve made peace with myself, I’m turning myself in, I can’t be a fugitive forever.” I said and my mom cried some more while my dad gave me a stern look
“I told you Joanne, stay at home, don’t go anywhere but you left now see” my mom cried as she placed her hands on her head and Jessica consoled her while I watched in regrets. Dang it! I killed Kesha, I tried calling my girls but their phone were switched off, I’m sure their parents flew them out of the country so they wouldn’t be afflicted with the crime since they were spotted on the crime scene.
“You’ve ruined me Joanne” my dad added and continued in panic. Soon we heard a knock on the door. And fear gripped me, it’s the police, I’d be arrested right now! My dad opened the door and the gateman told us that policemen was at the front of our gate. I panicked and my mom stood up to comfort me.
“Breath in, breath out” she said with her hands on my back, my dad glanced at me.
“Let them in” he said lowly.
We waited for a while when the policemen came into the house.
“Good day to you all” a man dressed in uniform said and we greeted him back. “Sources told us that Joanne is back to the house” the man said and I scoffed, my neighbours have a big mouth I’m not surprised. “Yes, I’m Joanne” I said with a shaky voice.
“You are under arrest for the murder of Kesha H. Quay…”
“Anything you say would be used against you in the court of law” I said along him and rolled my eyes and I lift my hands up so they could cuff me.
“Joanne!!!” My mom cried as they dragged me away, I breathed in and out wondering how Juvenile prison would be since I’m not up to 18 and maybe before my trial ends I’d already be 18, trust me this sh… God have mercy on me. I’m just so tired of life right now. They put me into the car and drove off, I could still hear the screams of my mom and the cries of my family, this is what I brought upon myself by myself.
I got to the station and they locked me in the prison still awaiting trial.
Days went by I was still there very tired and weak, they fed me with unhealthy meals but I had to eat because if I don’t I’d starve to death. I had started to pray and read the bible daily and I was amazed how spiritually strong I was getting by the day, I still had to fight some urge like drinking, sex and masturbation but the grace of The Lord is seeing me through. Debbie visited the previous day and she gave me scriptures to meditate on and also gave me the story of Paul and Silas and said The Lord would deliver me just like he delivered Paul and Silas and I have been walking in the consciousness.
I stayed on the floor praying when a police officer said I have a visitor. I came out to the counter and saw him standing right there looking at me, my heart skipped and I froze as I swallowed the big lump in my throat. “What the hell are you going here?!” I yelled and he smiled.
“I’ve missed you Joanne!” He said and I flicked. How dare he after all the insults, now he came here in my predicament to insult me. “Joanne, I’m sorry!” He said.
“Fred, how dare you come here?” I asked and he smiled.
“Well, I don’t really care about your ass, I just came here to tell you to test for HIV because I just tested and I have it so I’m warning all the people I had sex with to check their status” he blurted out and turned to leave.
“You are heartless Fred, very and my God would judge you” I cried as the policemen dragged me inside. But wait is he kidding me? Does that mean I have HIV in this my predicament. Damn! I ruined my life.