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Compound Palava – Season 1 Episode 5

Compound palava
Episode 5

So the police men who had gone to eat lunch, returned after an hour break.
The one at the counter went back to the counter and sat down. He was picking his teeth with a tooth pick, and laughing with his colleagues.
After they had finished joking, he turned to us.
“Ehen, revivor and Uncle writer. So una don ready tell us wetin happen?”
“Oga, I only locked their doors because they locked my door with a padlock.”
“Why una lock him door?”
“Oga, na him lock the the gate yesterday. So we all vex with am. We decide say we go lock his door. We think say he go come back home come beg us, but na pride full him body. Pride. Na im go kill am.”
The police man looked at me again.
“So why did you lock the compound gate?”
“Oga police. This people are wicked. I woke up in the morning and discovered they had locked the toilet. Since everybody wan show me say them wicked, I decided to lock them inside the compound so that no body go enter work.”
“Na wa o. So only you the fight everybody for compound?”
“Yes sir.”
“Hmm, so na due to the locking locking you ended up locking una Landlord for inside the house with this woman?”
“Yes sir.”
The other police man who had been listening to the confession, turned to his colleague.
“The way I de see this matter, I think they planned with this woman to kill the landlord.”
That was when Uncle teacher shouted.
“Landlord never die o. Him enter convulsion. Oga stop the pray this prayer. Na convulsion him enter. Na uncle church slap am with him hand. And Uncle church na welder wey the bend iron. I no know why him go carry anger slap old man like that. Landlord never die.”
“But according to the officers, they said they saw his lifeless body lying on the floor in the compound.” The quiet officer announced.
“Oga, life they him body. There is life in that body. Him no die. Na as convulsion finish, him come lie down to sleep.”
“Are you a doctor? Did you see the body?”
“Oga police. I for no the argue with you o. But the way you are using they kill him, they kill him. E just the vex me. Point the person wey kill. Because no be every body fit kill person.”
“So who killed the landlord then?”
Uncle teacher and I quickly pointed at Aunty big nyansh.
“Me?” Aunty big nyansh asked in surprise.
“Yes you. If say landlord no commot for your bedroom, him go die? Na you say him do five rounds.”
The police man at the counter shouted.
“She did five what?”
“Oga police, Landlord say him buy medicine from chemist. Him come my room tell me say him wan gbensh. I tell am say him no strong to gbensh.”
“Wait… Wait first.” The police man at the counter shouted.
He pulled the tooth pick from his mouth and picked biro.
“So if I get you correctly, you mean landlord come meet you say him wan kill himself.”
“No sir. Him say him wan enter my kpekus.”
“What is Kpekus.”
“My this thing.”
“Are you a prostitute?”
“No sir.”
“Which occupation are you into?”
“I dey fry Akara for junction.”
The police man turned to his colleague.
“You see all this akara women. That is why I don’t eat their akara.”
He returned his gaze back to Aunty big nyansh and stared at her.
“Oya continue.”
“So the landlord say him wan enter my kpekus. I come tell am say him know say him old. Sake of say me and him don the do this thing before and him no the perform well. I been no want anything wey go put fire for my body and then him no go fit come quench am. But him tell me say him don drink medicine wey him buy.”
“Which medicine be that?”
“Man power.”
“From where him buy the medicine?”
“Him say him buy am from chemist wey dey for our area.”
“Una know the chemist man?”
Uncle teacher lifted up his hands.
“Yes sir. Oga na only one chemist they our area. And na Uncle chemist get the Chemist.”
“Who be Uncle chemist?”
“Oga see am here.”
Uncle chemist started looking at us.
The police man did not waste any time. He brought hand cuff and hand handcuffed Uncle Chemist.
“You are a mad man. So na you give Landlord medicine wey kill am and we dey ask yet you keep quiet.”
“Oga ma man power I give am. I no ki am. No br me kill am.”
On seeing how Uncle Chemist was being dragged to the cell. Aunty Big Nyansh started praying.
“O God. I know say my nyansh go put me for trouble one day. I talk am. Any man wey follow my nyash, come enter contact with am, na so them go the die die anyhow. God na wetin I do.”
I kept replaying Aunty big nyansh statement in my head. Especially the part where she mentioned “Enter contact.”
I remembered the contact in the police Van and how I was lapping her and touching soft nyansh.
Then I asked myself.
Is it that kind of contact, or another one.

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