The night before we left the hospital.
Khalifa was standing by the window cooing and singing to a whinnying Armani (our baby’s name). I was lying on my bed and watching the beautiful scene. The way he held the baby, the way he sang to him, the way he got worried at his every cry just made me wonder if Khalifa got me pregnant on purpose.
He was happy. He glowed like the baby and me. He refused to be referred to as the baby daddy but the father of the baby. He was really protective and loving but which each passing day, I noticed it was harder for him to look me in the eyes. I would have been the same way too, if the love of my life got pregnant with our baby and left me with nothing but the sting of a slap. He probably didn’t know if it was really over between us or what? A tear dropped from my eye.
I was going to end this today. I stood up from the bed and went to where he was standing. He looked up at me, still cooing a now sleeping Armani. I stretched out my hands, signifying to him to hand the baby over to me but all he could do was gawk at me, unsure of what to think of what was happening.
I took the baby from him and turned around to put him in his cot.
“Sah…..!” Khalifa wanted to say but I spun around angrily and placed a finger on my lips, signifying to him to shut up. I dropped the baby and faced Khalifa.
I looked into his eyes snd there was no mistaking what I saw in there. He was scared and he was confused, but most especially, he was hurt.
“Khalifa, I’m sorry.” I said.
Something flashed in his eyes. I’m not sure what it was.
“What are you sorry for?” He asked, trying unsuccessfully to mask the underlying anger in his eyes.
“For everything. For every single wrong thing I did to you. Right from the day we had…. we made love. I was ashamed. I was sad. I felt this impalpable guilt for losing my maidenhead far before married. You know, I had all these plans about my wedding night and stuff and when I woke up that morning, I felt like a whore.”
“For sleeping with me?”
He was truly hurt. Tears glistened in my eyes.